Lost

Aw hile back I lost a small brass heart locket. After weeks of looking for it I gave up on finding it believing that it was lost forever. This weekend I found Jacob had it. He had been keeping it in a glass box. He did not know that I saw it. He hid the box but I have my locket. i don't think he knows that I do. I will tell him today. Wish me luck

Great!

Faygo one of the most delicious drinks ever and Takis the most amazing chips ever. today Is going to be okay......... Correction today is going to be great Jacob asked me to hang out with him today *jumping up and down like an excited puppy* YAY This is going to be so much fun I can't wait!

ZERO

Today I'm running on three hours of sleep and no food. I feel like a dead zombie. So far I've yelled at two people for hugging me and I got smart with my crush...I just pray to any higher power out there that one of my teachers let me crash out. The last time I was running low on sleep and food  I screamed at everyone the went to the nurse told her I felt a panic attack coming on to me, laid down in her office, cried and passed out. although today may go well I feel a childish fit brewing. Wish me luck.

Storm

I love the rain. and the wind. I love to stand out on my porch, arms spread wide, soaking up the natural rain. I love thte smell of rain, like fresh dirt. I love the feel of the rain being swayed to and fro by the wind. I wonder what it'd be like to be in a jungle when it rains. All the scents and sounds. (breathy sigh)  If only if only

One Uping

Yesterday after school I went with my bff Lilly to look at Prom dresses. My mind didn't get that it was supposed to be a mother daughter thing, and when I told my mom she, more or less, blew up on me. After that we didn't speak at all I didn't even eat I was so upset. But this morning she apologized to me (and I had worked all morning on an I'm Sorry letter too). Then she said that I should and would one up my bff Lilly. Somewhere deep inside I really want to one up everybody. I want an old fashioned ball gown. But my mom want me to wear something form-fitting. I want a BPD (boy-proof-dress) I like making things hard on them. I tried telling this to my mom and she doesn't really care as long as I one up all my friends, but mostly Lilly, I can tell by how her voice pitches slightly.

And Prom is in March!!

BFF's BF

okay so right now my bff's bf is helping my bff with her math homework and im eating her gobstoppers mmmmmmm yummy... their so cute i think I want to vomit... jk lol jk thats mean. YAY I GET TO GO DRESS SHOPPING WITH MY BFF/SISTER AND HER BF CAN'T SO IN YOUR FACE DEVON!!!!!!!

Boy Drama.

The title says it all. But for a few of you I will explain why. I have liked two juggalos since I was sixteen. I have to go to school with both of them. The blond one is named Shane and the brunette is named Jacob. They are both friends. They're together almost all the time. If I buy Faygo for one the other ends up with half of it. I want to date Jacob, but I don't think he likes me the way I like him. I don't know what to do. When I see him my bold tomboy runs and hides and my cute shy girly sides comes out to say hi. But recently I've been approached by another juggalo named Cory, who wants to date me. My feelings for Cory aren't as strong as they are for Jacob.
When Jacob saw Cory talking to me after school (and I know he saw because he was standing five feet away talking loudly with his friends) he came over and said hi to me, glared (literally glared) and handed me his Peach Faygo. He NEVER EVER gives or shares his Peach Faygo with anyone besides Shane. So that was a shock to me, as well as everyone around us. My girly girl was impressed and my tomboy didn't bat an eyelash. So now my head is spinning , not just cause of the heat but because I have two juggalos wanting my attention. Jacob even called me last night. We talked for a whole hour. I found out that we have all the same cd's. And we like the same artists too. So I'm asking you not as a young lette but as a girl in need of serious advice... What do I do???

Sneaky Homework

I hate it. I hate it with all of my being. If I had a choice I'd burn it and dump the ashes on my teachers heads. But I don't feel like it at this time. Last night as I rummaged threw the great pile of papers I found my Health homework. It was focused on money, so I pulled it out and did it with a smile. Then I got so into it I almost forgot to feed my llama and my horses. It was a good thing that I did go to feed them instead of finishing my homework cause my sneaky llama (I call him Patches) was trying to escape again. So homework can be a bad thing sometimes.

Bullies

I hated it when people bullied me in middle school and I hate it with a passion now. yesterday during lunch I had this one guy asked me to hold his backpack while he went and talk to his friends about something so I said sure what could it hurt but my curiosity got the better of me and I asked if I could look through it. He said "yeah I don't care" and went back to talking to his friends. So I'm going through it and he looks at me watching me rummage through the pictures of the tattoos he had done. then he got really mad at me for I don't know what reason and started to yell at me. (I had recently gotten out of an abusive relationship) I gave back his backpack, then when everyone was gone I crawled under a table and cried for two hours. No one even know where I was except me friend Lilly. When she found me and asked what happened all I could say was "I just want to go home. I hate it here. please take me home. I want to leave and never come back. I hate this place" She called my mom and then took me to the office and waited with me till my mom came.

Blogging

Blogs. Sweet quiet places to rant.

In The Way

I feel like I'm going to explode into a huge death cloud of purple and green glitter. School is so stressful now days. F*cking preps always in my way walking really slow like they have all the time in the world! Move faster before I push you down and tread all over your face!!! It drives me crazy when people do that not just the preps. Something just as annoying is when people stand in a huge group right in the doorway It makes me want to scream and beat them about the head with a brick. Because not only are you late when the bell rings but you have to wait for all of them to go inside before you. So get out of the way when you see me because I will not be able to stop my binder or any said object in my hand flying at your face when I'm pissed off from having a bad day.

The Longest Weekend Ever

Technically it wasn't the longest weekend ever but it felt that way when my boyfriend told me he wanted to be with me forever. forever is a very long time and I'm the only girl he has actuactually dated (cory if you read this no offense). So yeah scared the hell out of me. But the massage thaat followed was Amazing I loved it. Now only if every guy could do that every women would be happy with a massage after a long hard day at work. I have afeeling that Valentines Day is going to cause some heart break and drama for me. I don't know what it is yet but I keep having theses nighmares where I'm about to die (I die in multiple ways) and it's on Valentines Day ( I know this because there is a huge banner that reads: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! in the background. So yeah I have Valentines is gona suck for me and I'm going to fill the gaping hole in my heart with chocolate and whatever else is available hopefully Faygo because it's so good and it makes me happy. Feburary is gona suck.

Surprises

Last night at around 9:30 pm my boyfriend calls me and says he has a surprise for me and that he's not telling me. My cat curiosity kicked in and I ask for a hint.. He wouldn't give me one that that's the point of a surprise. But after thirty minutes of me saying please into the phone and him saying no, he said that I'd know what it is on Valentines Day. I hope it's a box of chocolate. I told him all I really wanted was him and his reply was: "You'll have me always." Then he cursed into the phone and I laughed and asked what happened, only to find out that he couldn't talk much longer cause he had to go to bed. The horrible/sweet is that I fell asleep while he was talking to me and woke up with the phone stuck to my face and a text that said goodnight sweetheart. I can't wait to see my surprise I'm so giddy I think I'm going to explode into a thing of purple and green glitter! Plus today we're going on our first double date I'm so happy I think I will explode.

Silence

I hate when people give you the silent treatment and they aren't even mad at you. Then when you get mad and do it they get mad at you and tell you to stop acting like a child.
Today my own mother is giving me the silent treartment, because I told her that I was bi. If you asked me I would tell you she's a b*itch, but almost everyone does at some point and time for one thing or another. The silence is peaceful for the moment, because I can stay in my room and she won't be calling for me every five minutes knowing well-enough that I'm trying to read a book. She broke her phone too, so she may be mad about that but she says its my fault...I don't see how but I'm not going to let her blame it on me. She is acting like a child and its getting on my nerves. I rarely give people the silent treatment. It's mostly teachers and principles who can't get me to talk. so I'm going to enjoy the sweet silence while it lasts and read to my hearts content.

Report Cards

I hate seeing my grades it drives me nuts when some else in the class comes up to you, takes a look at your report cards and says "iI made a better grade then you" and runs off to tell every your grade. Its a major pet peeve of mine. What if you didn't want other people to know what your grade was? What if it just didin't matter who say your grade? They could just ask you instead of just looking over your shoulder or  taking it off your desk. I don't even look at mine anymore. It goes staight to my backpack or my pocket to sit and wait for me to read it. Another thing I hate is when a really smart prep acts really stupid when they make the best grades in the class. It makes me want to dropkick them, or smack they with a book and yell " STOP ACTING STUPID YOUR A GENIUS!!!" But that would be mean and rude so I'm going to put up with it for now.

Hate

I can come up with a lot of things to "hate" or dislike but do I care, no. If I say that I hate you then obviously did something to cause that. I won't just stand there and go "I hate you" and walk away without telling you why I'd give you a reason and then I wouldn't talk to you for the longest time. I do the same thing with my mom, if she's badmouthing my friends i will simply go "mom will you please stop I hate when you talk bad about my friends it makes me look bad" then I will go into my room where I will stay till I need food or to use the bathroom.

The thing I hate the most is school.

Boys

Why do boys have to be so... so tempting and bloody annoying! I'm in a bot crisis right now as I write this. I have three boys who want me yet I have a boyfriend. I don't get to see him except on the weekends and the other three boys just drive me crazy cause i have to see them at school on the week days I hate them. I love games! So does my boyfriend so every time I tell him to get me a sandwich in a demanding tone he does the same thing back.  Then he gets up and does it anyways and makes a sandwich for himself as well... i like guys in books they are much more predictable then this age of boys. And yes all males of this generation are boys, unless they can make me think differently then maybe I will change my label and opinion of them... but I rather doubt it. There only three people I Trust in this world

1) Cory (my bf).

2) Devon (my sisters bf).

and

3) Joey (my bf's brother).

Uncaring.

So today I'm stuck at my friends house. Reason: my mom can't come get my cause she let my brother use the car. Which means when I have to go to school I wont be going I'll be stuck at my friends house. And when I asked my brother to come get me he said "It's not my fault your at your friends house with no way home. Why do you walk home" and proceeded to hang up. I called my mom and told her and she said "I don't care" I then hung up on her. my family is so uncaring of the oldest girl.This mom is a great example of why you should have bought me a car!